How to figure out what makes you tick in 4 easy steps

Time Management and the Empty Nest

Our son had flown the coop. Out the door. Gone to college.

I had worked myself into a corner at work by applying myself TOO much. All I did was work and come home.
I was miserable. A big old Texas Sourpuss.
And I found myself assigned to a project at work where I literally couldn’t imagine how I would get everything done. I really felt I needed to find some Time Management secrets to help me.

And then I found THE BOOK that changed my empty nest years.
I read the first chapters of the book and realized I didn’t have some Daytime suggestion book. It was a life changer book for me.

Do you know what makes you tick? What are your core values?

The first question in the book that literally took my breath away was the question “do you know what’s important to you?” The next premise was that those things (values) that are important to you should be some of the things you should be DOING each day. By doing those things daily, you would feel more at peace, purposed and complete.


I needed to hear that because at that point in my life, I felt like a hamster on a wheel. No peace, grouchy, irritable and just running in circles.

Finding Your Purpose

~~~~What follows next is a sneak peek into a project I’m working on ~~~~

Would you like to KNOW that you have clearly defined your God-given purpose here on earth so that you could feel you are living each day according to what makes you tick?

Begin by reading each of these words below. They will evoke emotions as you read them. Some emotions will be stronger than others. But for now, you will just read through the list of words without making any judgement, but only to get familiar with the idea that there are so many possibilities for purpose in your life.

Step 1:

Scan quickly through the words and just allow your mind to be open to the importance and peace of knowing and finding the path to your life’s new direction.

__Being the Difference
__Emotional Security
__Financial Security
__Firm Decisions
__Leaving a Legacy
__Making a Difference
__Play (recreation)
__Respecting others
__Servant Heart
__Taking Risks
__The Arts
__Work with a Meaning

Step 2:

Now, read each word a second time. Determine in your mind what each value means to you. Using your first impression, place a check mark by all the words that mean something to your personally. Be sure to take time during this process. Also, don’t try to establish a ranking of the words. For now, you are just asking yourself the question “is this value important to me?”. There are no right or wrong answers. This first scan may have 20, 30 or 50 check marks!

Step 3:

Read through the list of words a third time. Now, you are going to start narrowing down your values by circling those that are the most important to you. Oh, and if I’ve left our a value that you hold important, then by all means add it!

Step 4:

You are now going to review your list for a fourth and final time. This is where you do have a final objective of narrowing your list to 12 Values. What values stir your heart? What values do you feel you must have in your life or you don’t feel “whole”. Step Four is something you may read through several times. I suggest you work with pencil as I had lots of erasing and changing my mind. To keep myself on track I would ask myself this question “If I were on an island, what values would keep me grounded”. In other words, what values can you not live without.


The interesting realization during this process is that you may find your HAVE been living without some of these values. But now that you are in a conscious state of really thinking about them you realize they are important to your life. This happens many times with Moms. As we mother hen our nest and take care of the family, many times things that are important to us get pushed to the back burner. That is why entering the Empty Nest is so exhilarating! You have an opportunity now to rewrite your life.

I will be truthful with you about this exercise. I worked on it for about a week! Yes, I did! It’s not that I was indecisive. It’s just that I knew I was at a point in my life that I needed to make changes and I wanted to be sure to make the changes that would make a difference in my life.

I would love to hear of this helps you to become more grounded, purpose and full of LIVING and LOVING your life!

Until next time, Hugs and feathers from the nest~~()~~

Kim Steadman is the COOP (Chief Online Operating Person) for The Re-Feathered Nest. A place of encouragement for moms entering the Empty Nest Zone who find they need to RePurpose and ReDesign their lives now that the kids have flown the coop. Kim can be found on Facebook at and on Google+ at +Kim.


  • Kama

    It is so important to know what is important to us. As life happens around we often function through habit. We follow patterns that we think are important to us rather than considering what is really important to us. I use a similar exercise to this with my clients. There have been many tears and many aha moments when people realise that they have not been aware of the habits they have been keeping. As we grow and change so do some of our values.

  • kimsteadman

    Karma – I understand about the tears and aha moments! They are so freeing. Thank you so much for affirming my post. I appreciate you!

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