A recent family crisis caused me to stop and reflect on a lot of things about life, which I’ll share with you over the next few days. I’ll share those nuggets because I think they will help you during your Empty Nest Journey.
Here’s my first advice for you….
Stop Hurrying and Start Living
If you’re not getting enough things done on your to-do list, you’re not alone. It’s common to feel a little overwhelmed, rushed, and even guilty when you’re unable to get everything done each day. Staying “focused and in the moment” is challenging.
Then the little things seem to start piling up. The dishes are dirty and the laundry needs to be done. The only obvious solution is to be even busier and to schedule every minute of the day.
Here’s one big old fact that slaps you in the face every week. Nothing stays finished for long. Most of us feel like everything has to be done before we give ourselves permission to enjoy life. However, that moment of feeling “caught up” never seems to come.
If you need to create a little more space and enjoyment in your life, try these tips:
1. Learn to be glad that you have more work to do. Remember, if you have more to do, your time is valuable. Imagine the implication of not having any tasks to complete at work. You’d likely be out of a job sooner, rather than later.
Be grateful that so many of the people in your life need you.
2. Look for dead time. You might believe that you’re busy 24/7, but that’s likely untrue. Use those moments between tasks to mentally relax. We all think much more than necessary. Do you really need to watch all that television? What are you doing with your driving commute to work?
If you’re working on a report at work, you’re probably also thinking about lunch, the unpaid cable bill, and what you’re going to do this weekend. None are helpful, nor do they help you get your report completed.
You’ll be much more relaxed and get more accomplished if you mentally limit yourself to the task at hand.
3. Slower can be faster. The military has a saying, “Slow is smooth and smooth is fast.” Calmly approaching each task will frequently result in getting it done quicker. As our minds become over stimulated, it’s much more challenging to stay focused.
Think about how quickly you tie your shoes each day. Now try to tie your shoes as quickly as possible. You’ll almost certainly find that you’ve become slower. Any excessive increase in tension slows things down.
4. Limit unnecessary tasks. There’s no point in spending valuable time on things that don’t matter. If you’re spending time on tasks that have little meaning, ditch them.
5. Limit the important tasks, too. You can probably only get a few important tasks done each day. Making a list of 5 is certain to lead to feeling overwhelmed. Pick the 2-3 most important tasks to focus on. The rest can wait until tomorrow.
6. Give yourself the time you need. Everyone does some mental math each day that goes something like this, “This meeting ought to take 60 minutes. I’ll need 20 minutes to interview that new committee member. I have 30 minutes to drive home and change. Then, I still have 15 minutes to get to watch Sarah at soccer practice.”
We all tend to be optimistic, and our mental schedule requires everything to go perfectly. The interview could take 20 minutes, at best. It might also take 40 minutes. It probably won’t take 10.
Be realistic and give yourself the time required for each task, as well as the time between tasks.
If you’re constantly in a hurry, life can feel chaotic and joyless.
You have more time available than you realize. You can also learn to enjoy a busy schedule. Focus on each task and give yourself time to complete it. Remember that remaining calm and slowing down can actually increase the amount you get accomplished. And remember, it’s all a matter of perspective.
Kim Steadman is the COOP (Chief Online Operating Person) for The Re-Feathered Nest. A place of encouragement for moms entering the Empty Nest Zone who are ready to RePurpose and ReDesign according to God’s purpose for their lives now that the kids have flown the coop. Kim can be found on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/TheRefeatheredNest and on Google+ at +Kim.